12/09/2004: "at least I can take a deep breath..."

I didn’t mean to have an entire menu full of BBQ selections last night at the Ninety Nine, but somehow that’s how it worked out and it all tasted so good. My stomach on the other hand had other ideas about how good it was. That didn’t help me have a restful sleep last night.

Sharon and I went to Lincoln Park last night. She made me lock my wallet in my car and only allowed me to bring in my ID so I couldn’t gamble at all. She gave me a few bucks here and there and she let me play with her, but you know what I realized? When you’re in a casino and you’re not wrapped up gambling, it’s not all that much fun. I think I’m becoming an ex-gambler in addition to an ex-smoker. It doesn’t help that the place is filled with cigarette smoke and by the time I left – I had a sore throat. I woke up this morning feeling like I would have if I had chained smoked.

Today is the start of the 17th week of not smoking. Sometimes I really want one, but I know I’d probably cough to death if I did – and then I’d be back to wanting them again when I was finished coughing – so I’ve just stayed away. Moe has also stuck with it – tomorrow will be the beginning of his 17th week of not smoking.

Strange – after all these years of gambling and smoking, I’ve been free of my two big vices for some time now. It feels kind of good, but empty and strange at the same time. They were big comfort things for me and I’m sure that’s part of the reason I’ve been in and out of a funk for the last month or so. I know, look on the bright side you moron – you have money and you’ve got your health.

So I might be in a funk now and then, but at least I can take a deep breath. Though lately I’ve been feeling pretty good – I think it’s the holiday season – it usually makes me a bit merrier, especially if I don’t get wrapped up in the rat race that makes up the holidays. I do my shopping, get my cards and I enjoy the holidays – I don’t see any need to go crazy like some people do.

Hell, I’ll even give tourists on the T a second chance if they step on my foot this time of the year.

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